Entry 2: Our journey of Self Love & Self Care

Posted by Desiree Toppings on

 Give yourself a break.

Give yourself credit.

Give yourself time.

Give yourself attention.

Give yourself love.

Give yourself power.

Give yourself you.

The journey of self love & self care is intended to be full of growth and moments in which we come to learn about ourselves. Maybe for some it comes easy and for others not so much. Regardless, while we embark on this journey we tend for answers to come easy and hope for an easy fix. What we forget is that the journey is filled with insight about who we are and who we become during the process.

My younger self was consumed in trying to look a certain way, she ended up suffering from bulimia for 6 years. Darkness fully consumed my life during those years and I gave my body no respect. Mid-twenties I was finally in a healthy mindset. I loved my fitness routine, between crossfit & bodybuilding workouts I was happy. Although I still lacked confidence I was on the road to healing. What I know now is that my younger self taught me who not to be and she may have been imperfect but I learned to forgive her.

Pregnancy....The stage of postpartum with my first born was difficult. I absolutely adored being pregnant...and I loved every second after. But looking into a mirror or taking photos I absolutely DREADED. I despised the change my body went through. As if I didn’t already despise it before now I  hated it more than ever.
I bent over the toilet many times going back and forth contemplating whether I should return to a habit which I could turn on in an instant. I talked myself out of it every time knowing a mother’s job is to teach her children to love themselves, yet I couldn’t figure out how to love myself. Although it didn’t click until I had my second child. I was patient and learned to be kind to myself with the years that followed. The mental battles came back and forth keeping me up most nights. With each day you grow & learn. You push forward. Because no one is going to teach you how, you have to be willing, you have to try, and you have to constantly keep yourself from drowning in your own negative thoughts. Don’t give up. Each day learn to love yourself a little more. Smile in the mirror. And continue to work on the you, and who you want to be.


*PHOTOS: December 2015 (Bottom 2) &  May 17th, 2020



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